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I am studying Clean Language at the moment and am reading an excellent book by Wendy Sullivan and Judy Rees (who runs XrayListening.com which is about how Clean Language can be used in business) called Clean Language: Revealing Metaphors and Opening Minds which introduces the concept and teaches the basics of how Clean Language can and should be applied.

I’m finding the whole thing incredibly powerful and I suspect I’ll be blogging about it again.

Coming from the NLP world with the meta model and such, Clean Language seems to simplify the processes even further and what I’ve seen and used is actually a much better method of questioning someone on their beliefs and frames than the Meta Model used in NLP [gasp!]. (more…)

Memories and Mirroring

I was pondering the other day just how much the decorations we put up in our homes represent and influence our lives. I was specifically thinking about how mirrors and pictures influence us and how the symbology that our unconscious associates with each and interprets them.

(more…)

How to work a crowd

I found this great short video of how to work a crowd and become the centre of the party. I was particularly interested in how this could be used for networking purposes as (as you might expect) I am trying to meet lots of new people at the moment and promote myself and my website!

Anyway, checkout the video below:

Lots to think about and remember that unlike the Alexis, you can pause the video to read the summary slide ;-)

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I have been reading a particularly good book at the moment (Best Served Cold by Joe Abercrombie) and during one rather intriguing conversation between two of the main antagonists, I was reminded of one of the earliest things I learned about body language and I started to ponder how you could use it to your benefit…

It is usually the case that your body language is a result of your state of mind thus waving the subtle flag that you’ve trodden in a well placed dog poo, lost your best tie to the shredder and had an ear full for killing the peace lilly in the hall when someone caught you emptying the dregs of your coffee into the base. And all since half past nine and you’ve got an appraisal meeting with the boss this afternoon…

All that is quite enough to get one worked up and in a state right when you want to be calm and efficient-looking.

In my mind, there are two main elements that I would want to address here:

  • Mood
  • Anxiety

The bad mood is easy to cure: Smile

Smiling will put you in a good mood

Smiling will put you in a good mood

It sounds simple and it really is! Force a big smile on your face even though you really don’t feel like it and after a few minutes, you’ll forget all about forcing it and discover that you’ve somehow managed to give your bad mood the slip (you may even find yourself having a water cooler moment with the office hottie!).

The next step is also an easy one: Steeple your fingers

A classic confidence gesture

A classic confidence gesture

Just like the smile technique, steepling your fingers when you want to feel confident will help make you feel confident! Combine the two and you’ll be well away (not counting the chewed up tie of course).

The key is to notice your gestures and body language when you are in a resourceful (good) state and when you want to recall that state: simply recall the gestures and hey presto – resourceful state resumes!

I think it was at this point that I realised that I’d been staring at the person sat opposite me on the train and quickly had to bury myself back in the book before they started to wonder about my mental acuity.

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