The fear of the unknown

Recently a friend of mine was bemoaning the fact that there is not much in the way of social groups where he lived. Not one to take “can’t” for an answer I used some Clean Language questioning to explore that “can’t”. It turned out that there was in fact at least one group but because he had no idea what they did, had done nothing about it.

Now of course it’s easy for me, as an outside observer, to help my friend discover the problem and allow him to come up with a solution (phone them up and ask!), but I know we all have things in our lives that we want to do but don’t purely because we don’t know what’s involved.

“Hypnosis in Gravesend”

I’d always wanted to learn hypnosis but had never done anything about it because I’d no idea what was involved. One day I just happened to be in the right frame of mind and I casually Googled hypnosis training in Gravesend and guess what: There was a course running not far away and at a price and time I could afford. It didn’t take much thinking to sign up after that.

Fear holds us back from so many things, but so seldom do we realize that the “fear” is not in the doing or becoming whatever it is: it is the fear of the unknown process of getting there!

Think of something that you really want to do but haven’t. Get a new job? Go on a trans-European holiday? Learn a new language?

Now ask yourself what is it that is holding you back from that and what you would like to have happen.

Could it be that you don’t know what is available, how to organize it, where to go that is the problem? In other words; could be the mystery, the lack of knowledge, which is what you’re afraid of? It’s not the holiday or the job or the language that is scary is it, so it must be the organising of the holiday, the “finding” of the job and the fact that you don’t even know if there is somewhere nearby that even teaches languages.

Diminish the power of the unknown with knowledge

This year, why not choose one of those things that you always promise yourself you’d do and rather than promise yourself that you’ll do it, simply find out what is involved. Choose a starting point and go from there. I bet you’ll find it’s not as difficult as you imagine.

Being specific for tangible results

Well only two weeks to go before I have to work my way to the open door of an aeroplane travelling at 100 miles an hour at 10,000 feet, lean out… and let go…

I’m not sure if you saw my previous post asking for a donation towards a charity called Catch22 so I thought I’d write again and maybe remind you that I’m doing this to raise £1000 to provide dedicated attention and education for a young person for a whole year through the Catch22 organisation.

I’m sure you get asked to give money to charity for all sorts of good causes by all sorts of people all the time, so I appreciate that you might not be overwhelmed by yet another call to give to charity. In my defence this is the first time I’ve done anything for charity and as you can see I’ve set myself a fairly steep target for a first go, but I have an actual aim and I know exactly where the money is going and exactly what it is going to do.

I too don’t really like the idea of simply filling the generic coffers of a “good cause” which is why I was so psyched to find Catch22 and actually go down and meet the people running the Gravesend branch where the money is going to go and actually see with my own eyes what they do and achieve there.

Below is a video about Auto22 which is a social enterprise and how I found Catch22. Watch the section about Boo: a graduate of the programme whom I have been to meet personally. Boo is exactly the kind of person whom the money raised will be helping: taking a young “hoodie”, with no prospects other than a life of crime, intimidation and benefits and giving them the time and attention to put them back on the path to a productive future as a fully signed up member of the local community.

If you, like me, want to actually see tangible changes as a result of your donation, then please support me in this and have a look at my Just Giving page and watch my video and see a bit more about why I’m doing this and the kind of results Catch22 give.

www.justgiving.com/Ben-WhiteCatch22

Thank you so much,

Ben

P.S. I’m jumping from 10,000 feet on the 28th August over an airfield near Maidstone, Kent.

P.P.S All the money raised is going to Catch22. None of this “sponsored” jumping nonsense: I’ve paid for the jump myself, so your contribution (plus Gift Aid if you’re a UK tax payer) is going to be used to help someone like Boo.

Gravesend garage with a charitable heart

I had an unexpected yet excellent experience this week: The alternator in my car packed up leaving me without car transport ahead of my sister’s wedding this weekend (the wedding is in Hampshire and I live in Gravesend, Kent over 100 miles away!), not to mention needing to get out to my hypnosis clients – Obviously, that was not the excellent experience – read on… So after swearing profusely at the blasted machine , I was straight onto Google maps looking for a local garage to recover and fix it.

Phoning the nearest garage resulted in me having to deal with a grumpy and reluctant mechanic who clearly didn’t really want my business or know anything about customer service. honestly, it amazes me that they can get away with the sort of surly and unpleasant demeanour and still be in business!

So widening the search slightly, I selected a company called Auto22 who had their company logo and web site address on their Google maps presence (always a good sign in my book). Despite being after closing, they took my call and were very helpful and understanding about the situation I found myself in and arranged for someone to come out first thing to collect the offending vehicle.

All fixed, they came and collected me and en-route to their garage I got chatting to the service advisor (Mark) who explained that they are actually a social enterprise, able to invest all their profits in supporting young people in gaining work experience opportunities, work placements, apprenticeships and eventually getting their first job.

Catch22: a charity for young people

The parent charity is: Catch22 and their website says:

Catch22 is a national charity that works with young people who find themselves in difficult situations. Whatever the reason for their situation, we help them out. We work with their families and their communities wherever and whenever young people need us most; in schools, on the streets, in the home, at community centres, shopping centres, in police stations, and in custody

Auto22: a social enterprise

It turns out that Auto22 is one of the mechanisms that the charity use to enable young people to gain education (they have a classroom in the next door Catch22 building where they are taught maths, English and more practical things) and provide hands on mechanics training with the aim of placing their graduates into apprenticeships and actual work placements.

I could not have been happier to be handing over money for the work on my car and the whole experience was easy and honest and I feel good that I’ve been able to contribute to a charity that directly benefits the local Gravesend community. Plus I’ve got a working car to get to my sister’s wedding AND a reliable garage to get the car serviced and MOT’d later in the year so I am more than happy to recommend their services here, plus its such an unusual and yet fantastic idea that its worth reading about anyway.

Doing something to support Catch22 and Auto22

I’m jumping out of a plane on the 28th of August, so please read my post about it and then contribute a little something to help. Thanks:

http://www.benwhite.me/2010/07/going-crazy-for-what-you-believe-in/

Recommended: happy, smart, efficient and good for the community

Auto22 offers: servicing and repair on all makes of cars and light vans, MOTs, and tyre and exhaust replacements.   All work is carried out by professionally qualified and experienced technicians using the latest diagnostic equipment, and they offer a free customer drop off and pick up service within a three mile radius.

Website: www.Auto22.co.uk

Call them: 01474 362 413

How your body language can affect your own mood

I have been reading a particularly good book at the moment (Best Served Cold by Joe Abercrombie) and during one rather intriguing conversation between two of the main antagonists, I was reminded of one of the earliest things I learned about body language and I started to ponder how you could use it to your benefit…

It is usually the case that your body language is a result of your state of mind thus waving the subtle flag that you’ve trodden in a well placed dog poo, lost your best tie to the shredder and had an ear full for killing the peace lilly in the hall when someone caught you emptying the dregs of your coffee into the base. And all since half past nine and you’ve got an appraisal meeting with the boss this afternoon…

All that is quite enough to get one worked up and in a state right when you want to be calm and efficient-looking.

In my mind, there are two main elements that I would want to address here:

  • Mood
  • Anxiety

The bad mood is easy to cure: Smile

Smiling will put you in a good mood
Smiling will put you in a good mood

It sounds simple and it really is! Force a big smile on your face even though you really don’t feel like it and after a few minutes, you’ll forget all about forcing it and discover that you’ve somehow managed to give your bad mood the slip (you may even find yourself having a water cooler moment with the office hottie!).

The next step is also an easy one: Steeple your fingers

A classic confidence gesture
A classic confidence gesture

Just like the smile technique, steepling your fingers when you want to feel confident will help make you feel confident! Combine the two and you’ll be well away (not counting the chewed up tie of course).

The key is to notice your gestures and body language when you are in a resourceful (good) state and when you want to recall that state: simply recall the gestures and hey presto – resourceful state resumes!

I think it was at this point that I realised that I’d been staring at the person sat opposite me on the train and quickly had to bury myself back in the book before they started to wonder about my mental acuity.

Welcome to Practitioner Of Trance blog

OK, so I’ve finally installed and setup my blog which will see me through the next few years of blogging. Thanks to WordPress for the blog and to thanks to Andrei Luca for his theme that makes it look so awesome. I may of course experiment with the theme and see if I can find one or modify one to more accurately look like the main home page – this is, after all, only a sub-site of www.PractitionerOfTrance.com.